Monthly Archives: January 2011

The World’s Favorite Textile

Today is Bubble Wrap Day! I could not be more jazzed about this. Bubble wrap is THE greatest form of wrapping entity. Everyone gets that look in their eye when the potential of a bubble wrap popping experience is at hand. You know the look I’m talking about. There are several reasons for this phenomenon. 1) Everyone loves making insane amounts of noise. 2) Everyone loves pushing a button. 3) Popping that bubble is so final. It’s a high we just can’t resist.

So on this fine day of bubble wrapped goodness, I went to FedEx. I bought 50 feet of bubble wrap. I told the FedEx man about my blog and why I was purchasing bubble wrap. He seemed enthused. I wished him a Happy Bubble Wrap Day and headed home.

Also, today in Norman, Oklahoma, USA, there is a snowpocalypse. A snowmageddon, if you will. Basically everyone is preparing to be snowed in for about three days. It’s going to be insane. I’m going to be stir crazy. With that being said, today I was running a bajillion errands to get ready for the next several days. I went to the grocery store. Got the stuff to make chicken chili (thank you Geoff for the idea, thank you Charlene for the recipe).

I’m prepared for a Y2K experience of sorts. (remember how crazy people got about Y2K, what a midnight let down am I right?)

Anywho, due to my errand running and life organization today, I knew my celebration would have to take place later, hence the lateness of this blog. I got home and started cutting squares of bubble wrap.  I cut probably half the roll. That is 25 feet. Good job. I took those squares and shared it with the girls in my sorority. They all were ultra jazzed to get a square of bubble wrap and have their picture taken. At least that’s what I told myself. So here they are. Being jazzed.

 

So pleased with their bubble wrap gift!

Bubble wrap rules.

This is Kathleen. She got creative.

Fists of fury.

After all of that bubble wrap glory, I came home and remembered that I had another half a roll of bubble wrap! What to do with the this glorious roll of padded funness? Make a bubble wrap outfit seemed fitting. So I got to work. This is the result of my endeavor. I’m applying to Project Runway next week. Also, the outfit that I am wearing underneath my bubble wrap cocktail dress is what I like to call my ‘snowpocalypse uniform’.

 

Bubble wrap is the fanciest of all textiles.

And I am the fanciest of all bubble wrap models.

This is one hour into the snowpocalypse.... prepare yourselves for the next 3 days...

After I finished being a fashion designer, I remembered that I am going to a Lady Gaga concert in April. A costume would be a fairly fitting thing to wear to her concert so I did a redesign of my outfit. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

 

ga ga ooh la la.

Apparently when you pretend to be Lady Gaga you don’t smile. Smiling is overrated when you are a scary pop star, just in case you were wondering.

 

This bubble wrap scarf seems like it would be less in the way of other people watching the concert.

Apparently you do smile. I was wrong.

Bubble wrap day was clearly a success. Also, fun fact: bubble wrap was initially designed to be wallpaper. I just envision someone trying to reach to the top of the wall to pop all of those bubbles and then I laugh.

This is also the last blog of January. I have successfully blogged one entire month. I am 1/12 of the way finished. I have a lot of exciting ideas and plans for the next several months. And I can’t wait to share them with you. I am proud of myself for finishing the first month. I feel like it is a mini accomplishment. Thanks for hanging out with me and putting up with one months worth of antics. Check out the This Month’s Celebrations section to read about the next month!

Sincerely,

Wallpapering the guest bathroom.

 

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Answering Machines

Hey, it’s Kate. I’m here right now. Please leave a comment after the blog.

Well it’s Inane Answering Machine Message Day. And what exactly does that mean? Good thing you asked. It means that you get rid of those ridiculous answering machine messages that you think are so great. Newsflash Hansel, they aren’t. I fall for that insanity almost every time. I get so agitated when I fall for that seemingly innocent “Hey!”. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

Several of you reading this I KNOW have one. I’ve fallen for it and then cursed you when I realized what happened. But there was a time in my life when I had a ridiculous message. It was near the time when I first got a cellular device of my own. If any of you are Seinfeld fans, which I’m sure every single one of you is, you will know exactly what I’m talking about and how hilarious I am/was as a new cell phone user.

There is an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza, my most favorite bald man of all time, records his answering machine message. It is no regular message. It’s a song. And it goes a little something like this.. hit it.

“Believe it or not, George isn’t at home. Please leave a message, at the beep. I must be out or I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not I’m not home!”

So as a young child I recorded on my phone a message. “Believe it or not, Kate isn’t at home. Please leave a message, at the beep. I must be out of I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not I’m not home!”

I’m not proud of the this. Ok, well I am a little. I love George Constanza. But I’m not proud of having an annoying message. I’m sorry to those of you that called me during the period in my life when this message was part of my media existence.

Last night in honor of Inane Answering Machine Message Day Eve, Chelsie changed her voicemail to something outrageous that made people start talking to the message, rookie cell phone user move. But she changed it back after we had a good laugh about how annoying those things are.

Another form of celebration today was answering the phone in a hilarious manner. Clearly the greatest of all greetings is “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?” I answered the phone that way today. It was satisfying. And I have one last phone story.

Last semester, my friend Tri thought it would be hilarious if he had a personal assistant. I joked that I would absolutely do that if I got paid. So the next day he forwarded his calls to my number. It’s not hard to do apparently. And you don’t have to have the permission of the number you are forwarding to. I got some hilarious phone calls. Especially because I didn’t know that Tri had forwarded his stuff. After I figured out what had happened I answered my phone, “Hello, Mr. Noensie’s assistant. How can I help you?” It was fun for about one singular day.

So there’s that. If you have one of these messages get rid of it immediately. If you don’t have one, I applaud you.

Sincerely,

Can’t come to the phone is code for doesn’t want to come to the phone. Deal with it.

PS: My friend Matt let me know earlier today that it was draw a dinosaur day! I drew this little guy. Enjoy!

He is standing on a cliff looking at a river with a volcano in the background.

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My Dinner Party Guest

It’s Thomas Paine day. He is my most favorite historical figure of all time. I LOVE him. I own Common Sense. I have read Common Sense. I love common sense and Common Sense. When I am asked the question who would you invite to a dinner party and why I ALWAYS respond Thomas Paine. I think he would be the most fun of all. Everyone would go around and say their accomplishments and then T-Paine would say, “Oh those are cool. Yeah, I spurred on the Colonies to become the United States…so… yeah.”  Other guests on the list would be, Ferris Bueller, John Mayer, Leonardo da Vinci. There are others, but those are the only ones I could think of off the top of my brain.

I love that he was so revolutionary in his thinking. And that he was a really great writer. And that he was the original T-Paine. Fun fact: Thomas Paine signed his name T. Paine. I would love for T-Pain and T-Paine to meet. I don’t know that they would be the best of friends. But maybe, you never know. Maybe they both like gardening or something.

T-Paine. Known for being revolutionary.

T-Pain. Known for his robot-like vocals.

After looking up some interesting things on Thomas Paine, I found out that he was buried on his farm in New York. But some dude thought he needed to be buried back in England. He dug up his bones and decided to take them to England. But his bones never got buried. And now they don’t know where they are. It’s a mystery. Just your regular old case of missing human remains.

Here are some T-Paine quotes that I like from Common Sense:

This new world hath been the asylum for the persecuted lovers of civil and religious liberty from every part of Europe. Hither have they fled, not from the tender embraces of the mother, but from the cruelty of the monster; and it is so far true of England, that the same tyranny which drove the first emigrants from home, pursues their descendants still.

We have it in our power to begin the world over again.

Here are some T-Pain quotes that I like:

It gives you the classic T-Pain sound. I mean, it makes you sound awesome. If you ever want to sound good while you’re singing — you’re going to need this.

I’m a really tech-savvy guy, so I know a lot about technology.

Back to other cool things about Thomas Paine. Schoolhouse Rock does a really great job capturing the highlights of this country, the education system and an other menagerie of useful knowledge. But they do talk about Thomas Paine, in a rather unknown Schoolhouse Rock video called Fireworks. For your viewing pleasure, Fireworks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvH7ySQi37E

I wish there was a Schoolhouse Rock about The Celebrationist. It would be so great and hilarious. I would love it.

SIDENOTE: I have to tell you an outrageous story. Last week, when that huge mafia bust happened and a bajillion gangsters got arrested, one of the papers was talking about how many of them had hilarious nicknames. And then it listed some of the nicknames. Tony Bagels. One of the mafia members was named Tony Bagels. I died. Tony Bagels. This scene played in my head:

Gangster: Hey. Who is picking up Vinny tonight?
Mobster: I got Tony to do it.
Gangster: Tony?
Mobster: Yeah, Tony Bagels.
Gangster: Oh… Tony Bagels he’s a good guy.

And now, back to Thomas Paine.

At dinner Chelsie made Thomas Paine a cheerleading poster, like the ones she used to make in high school.

T T T H O M M M A S. T H O M A S. (clap clap) Thomas.

I wanted to combine Both T-Pain(e)s. So I did. Prepare yourself.

http://smule-media-app.smule.com/tpain/483088FD-9CEB-444C-A922-01BFB4EC9071.m4a

That is me reading the last paragraph of the introduction to Common Sense. It’s very awkward. I apologize. I do these things for you. I wish there were some beats in the background of my Common Sense autotuned reading. I hope you enjoyed Thomas Paine day. And I hope that you enjoyed me read/sing/rapping Common Sense.

Sincerely,

Thomas “Tony Bagels” Paine

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Have Fun at Work Day

Today is Have Fun at Work Day. I don’t work at my Big Girl job on Friday’s AND I was driving to Austin today. So I was concerned to the amounts of awesome that I would have to celebrate. AND I last night my phone decided to give up last night. It was just a white screen. I could answer calls because I knew where the swipe bar was but other than that I was stuck.

So I went to the AT&T store. Prepared for it to be all 9 levels of Dante’s Inferno. But it wasn’t. It was absolutely delightful. I would like to say that I’m 87% sure that Danny the AT&T man had fun at work today. He was figuring out if I had an upgrade and I did! So I got a 3Gs because it was infinitely less expensive. Danny was setting all my stuff up.

We chatted about TV shows and being awesome and life in general. In the midst of our conversation one of the employees realized that one of the iPads in the store had porn downloaded on to it. It was quite the day. We had a blast. But then he was hooking up my old phone to the machine that gets all my contacts off of it. Well the screen was completely white and I have my phone password protected. Which means I had to swipe unlock and then enter my four digit code COMPLETELY BLIND. I tried to do it. And failed. I tried twice more. And failed. And then I was nervous I was going to get locked out, because you only get 10 tries! So Danny put his phone next to it so I could see where the buttons would be on my screen. And I successfully did it! I felt like I was in an episode of 24. Danny and I high-fived after I successfully entered the code. It was amazing.

I have never had that much fun at the AT&T store. So if Danny reads this, thank you for being so great and making Have Fun at Work Day so incredibly fun.

Well, after that my dear friend Chelsie and I headed to Austin for the weekend. Her sweet Grandad lives here and our cool friend Paul lives in Austin too! We rocked out successfully in the car to Everybody’s Working for the Weekend, appropriate for Have Fun at Work Day if I do say so myself.

We stopped in Waco to see Tanner Mathias, AKA The Real DJ Tanner. He took us to get delicious mexican food and showed us how awesome Waco is. Tanner starts his first day of work today, so clearly he will be having tons of fun at work! And the place he is working has the greatest t-shirts. They have a face with a beard on them and you know how I feel about beards! I like them. I like them a lot. I like beards and Beards.

So now I’m in Austin pleased with the events of the day. Jazzed to eat dinner in Austin. Jazzed to go shopping tomorrow.

Today I tweeted that people should send me their pictures of how they were having fun at work here they are!

 

@emShipley was driving in SW Oklahoma for work today!

 

@Meg_Snow was online shopping at work today!

 

@TheLonelyRainer was unloading Apple stuff at work today!!

So over all it was a great day. I hope that you had a blast at work today. I hope that you work at a place like Dunder Mifflin. I hope that you have an Andy Bernard that you work with. I hope that he sings you Ainbowray Onnectioncay on his banjo. I hope that you are working in a place that makes you laugh. Laughing rules.

Sincerely,

I take back the 87% and replace it with a 110%.

 

 

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Chocolate Cake Day

I went into this day with extremely high hopes. I was going to make one rocking chocolate cake. A layer cake if you will. I was going to ice the layers into sheer perfection. Chocolate buttercream was going to be everywhere it was going to be pure bliss. Literally, it was going to be the greatest thing you’ve ever seen.

I baked my layers. I made homemade chocolate buttercream. I was prepared. I let the layers cool completely. If you don’t the icing melts and things get crazy. Real crazy. One time, when my mom was baking a three layer cake, it became a two layer cake. It was tasty. And she was totally excited about it being a two layer cake instead of a three layer cake, but that is a different story.

Anyway, I went to dinner with a friend and came home to get my cake icing on. Well, here is where things go south. Well not exactly south, but perhaps in a westward direction. So my cake was headed west. Out into the wild frontier of baked goods.

I’m not 100 % sure how the proper stacking of cake layers goes. It’s one of those world secrets like how to use yeast properly, how to bake anything with phylo dough, why you always need new socks or tetanus shots. (Tetanus is a scam. You name me one person that has Tetanus. Exactly. No one) So, where the layers touch, the edges did not. Not even close. You see the problem. Whilst icing the layers, the edge of the cake clearly had a large gap. So, I filled it with icing. Duh.

What else was I to do? Leave it? Yeah, right. It was frosted to best of my ability and I cut a single piece and ate part of it. And then I fell asleep on the couch. But I was sitting there not laying there. So now my neck is weird. And my cake isn’t pretty. And I had such high hopes!

I sat at my desk at my Big Girl job and visions of chocolate cake danced in my head. Here is was I was imagining all day long.

The prettiest cake at the ball.

And this is what I ended up with….

 

Happy Birthday to the ground.

I mean it’s a tasty cake. It’s sitting in my kitchen right now. You are more than welcome to come have a piece. It just isn’t what I wanted it to look like. I don’t like not being good at things. In the last two days I have had extremely good luck with my cooking endeavors. I am practically becoming a professional Italian. I made eggplant parm and chicken alfredo and they ruled. But the cake just didn’t. It was just lacking. That’s fine. I’m ok with that. (I’m really not. I’m kinda frustrated about it. But saying I’m ok with that makes me feel better…sort of.)

not too shabby.

I did realize one thing during cake day. I watch cake shows on Food Network and they are always yammering about how the cake isn’t working or the icing isn’t right. I always think they are giant drama queens. Until now. I get it. I get that cake kinda sucks to work with. Dear Bakers on Food Network, Sorry. Love, Kate.

I have one story to leave you with that will hopefully make you laugh. Ok, two stories. I was working on a document at Big Girl Job and one part of it was titled ‘attendance breakdown’. And then I kept saying ‘dance breakdown’. And I couldn’t stop laughing. I was alone. Laughing at ‘dance breakdown’. Please don’t judge me. Especially for the next story.

I got out of Big Girl Job and I was business casually as usual. I was walking downtown from the Chamber to my car in the parking garage.

SIDENOTE: the parking garage that I park in is literally the exact same garage that the opening scene of The Dark Knight was filmed in. They didn’t tell you they were on location in Oklahoma for that scene, but they were. The spiral driving part is nuts. I feel like Bruce Wayne is going to just pop up out of nowhere.

Anyway, I’m walking downtown. I call Alex, because I always call Alex and I said the following:

Me: Oh Hullo.
Alex: Hiiii.
Me: I’m walking downtown. I just left my Big Girl Job.
Alex: Ohh fancy.
Me: I feel fancy. I’m business casually and downtown in the middle of the day. Walking across streets.
Alex: ….silence…. Walking across streets?
Me: Things are weird. I’m sorry.

So yeah, I said walking across streets. I’m not proud of it. But it happened. I am sorry that this is so late. I fell asleep… I am going to post the February list tonight! Check out the This Month’s Celebrations page later on. Get jazzed.

Sincerely,

Walking across streets rules.

PS: I got cocoa powder in my eyeballs. I don’t suggest it.

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Toad Hollow Day of Randomness

Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement.

This is the most obscure day of all. Literally I have no idea what this means. I don’t know where Toad Hollow is. I don’t know why they needed a day of encouragement, but clearly things in Toad Hollow weren’t going too hot. They needed an entire day just devoted to encouragement. But you better believe that I celebrated. I got creative. And by ‘got creative’ I mean ‘got a bottle of wine’. There is a delicious wine called Toad Hollow. So I got it. And then I got all domestic and made chicken alfredo for my friends. Jordan (one out of two of my awesome roommates), Brett, Brian and Kurt and I enjoyed delicious dinner followed by ice cream. And the boys bought cones. Which means I had an ice cream cone at my house. Sometimes I forget that ice cream cones exist outside of Braum’s. But they do. Because I had one. Tonight.

You know how I feel about animals in clothes.

So since today is a fairly strange celebration and drinking wine is clearly the best celebration for anything it seems a fitting time to tell you about my outrageous day.

So this morning was my first day of my Big Girl Internship in Oklahoma City. I am the graphics design intern at the Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. I am so excited for the next semester. I am getting to do something that I truly love. Go InDesign!  Anywho, I have driving anxiety. Not really driving as much as making it through the traffic to get to the place on time. I had to be downtown at 9. I live in Norman. It takes roughly 20ish minutes to get there without traffic. I wanted to leave my cute little house at 7:45 so I could gauge the traffic and be there a bit early. What a good plan right! Right.

I woke up at 7:24.

If you aren’t good at calculating how many minutes that is it’s 21. And for those of you that know me well, know that I take a ways to get ready. And by a ways I mean a little under an hour. I have procrastination problems and I get distracted easily in the morning. So my 21 minute mission was underway. I showered. Freakishly quickly. Dried hair. Make uped. Etc. I left my house at 7:50. Not too shabby.

The traffic wasn’t too crazy I got there on time. Had a great first day and was headed back to Norman. I get out of my internship at 2:00. I have class in Norman at 3:00. My professor is a stickler for tardies. I left my internship at 2:20. PLENTY of time to get to my class. Clearly. Fun Fact: I don’t make it to class.

I get to Norman. It’s 2:45. The stop light at the Lindsey was broken. I rear end someone. It’s 2:50. It was the first wreck I have gotten in since I was 17 and accidentally ran into Courtlyn Shoate’s Jeep in Will Haskell’s driveway. Well we are still sitting at the broken light. We get out of the car and decide to go to a parking lot. It’s 2:55. We pull in and I realize that the girl is one of my past professors. She taught my Mass Comm Law class. I’m not making it to class. We exchange nonsense. And I realize I’m not making it to class. So I decide to go to the store and cook dinner and have a glass of wine.

I called my mom to tell her about things and this was the venting that took place, “Hi. I rear ended someone. And I woke up late today for my Big Girl Job. And I’m missing my class. And I need to shave my legs.”

Why I added the part about needing to shave my legs I’ll never know. But I do. I wasn’t lying.

My mom is really wonderful when I tell her things like I rear ended someone. She makes me feel like it was okay that it happened. I mean it wasn’t but she soothes well. She is encouraging. Little did she know, she was celebrating.

But enough of that, back to Toad Hollow! Well, I just found this. It’s the story of the real Toad Hollow day of Encouragement. It doesn’t involve wine. http://www.ehow.com/about_6781531_toad-hollow-day-encouragement_.html It actually is kind of strange. Let me see if I can sum it up for you.

Michigan. Eunice. A school. Fake town. Voluntoads. Craft fair.

Sounds totally great. But this day really make me think about one of my favorite kids books.

Did anyone else read Frog and Toad books as a child? I did. I loved those guys. They were hilarious. They did hilarious things. This is what I looked like when I read Frog and Toad books. I’m not really sure why that matters, but just so you have a point of reference when you imagine small Kate reading Frog and Toad books.

I was kinda a diva as a child.

I wore bows and dressed up as a princess every Halloween.

Frog and Toad lived in what I can only assume was a town called Toad Hollow. And I can only assume that Frog was kinda pissed about it. So maybe that is the true origin of Toad Hollow day of Encouragement. Frog hated living there and Toad organized the town (and by town I mean the area under a rock where toads and frogs live) into having a huge day where they encouraged Frog to start loving it more in Toad Hollow. I think I just wrote a sequel to those books. I’m a genius.

So there’s that. The most obscure of all the days I’ve celebrated. I will be posting the February list of holidays soon. Under the This Month’s Holidays page. Clearly.

I leave you with a bit of encouragement. I encourage you, on this fine day, to find a reason to celebrate. To celebrate with someone. Make someone smile a ridiculous amount of smiles because of something you did. I love smiling a ridiculous amount of smiles and I’m sure whoever I just encouraged you to hangout with enjoys it too.

Sincerely,

The phrase “kiss a lot of toads” weirds me out. Kissing toads sounds terrible.

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MacBook Awesome.

I got rid of my old computer and bought a MacBook Awesome. It’s new. It’s shiny. It’s really just my same computer with a new and improved name. Speaking of new and improved, I changed the blog banner and theme. I am infinitely more jazzed about the levels of cuteness that now exude from the screen. Cuteness levels are vitally important to my life. If I could track them on my site stats I would.

So today is Macintosh Computer Day. I don’t know about you, but I am pro-mac. Team Mac, if you will. And you will. I love my MacBook Awesome. If you are reading this on your PC. That’s cool. I’m sure you had a really good reason to buy it. I know that businessy people need Windows for businessy things. But I’m not businessy. I don’t have business socks. I like design and being crafty. Hence, my MacBook Awesome.

So on this Macintosh day I felt like I should share with you some interesting things.

When I was in Paris I went to a lot of museums. I love museums. I think my most favorite date of all time would be going to a museum. Or to Ikea, but some movie ripped that idea off. But anyway I was at a museum. The Louvre to be exact. In the basement of the Louvre, and I say basement extremely loosely, it’s like a shopping mall/food court/underground wonderland down there. And lo and behold, there it was. An Apple store. AT THE LOUVRE. Art and my favorite media devices of all! Can life get better? I submit that it cannot!!!

Apparently there is a no small children allowed policy.

I feel like this is what happens at the Louvreintosh store.

Guy Number 1: This art is le awesome.
Guy Number 2: No kidding this art is totally le awesome.
1: You know what totally le awesome art reminds me of?
2:  No, what?
1: The fact that I need a new MacBook Le Awesome.
2: Good thing there is strangely located Louvreintosh store in the faux basement.
(1: Now feed me the rock.)

I mean that’s what I imagine probably went down once.

I do really love my Apple products. I would be lost without them. Literally, that map on my phone is genius.

My dad really super wanted to be included in today’s blog post. This is a text message I received from him:

“…am I in the running for Mac appreciation…new rearranged office…more Macs…can get pictures…”

I think his space bar is broken. He loves a good dot dot dot.

He is not so secretly my biggest fan. The man has a thing for Apple. He loves the Apple store. They should give him the t-shirt uniform. He is there often. But there was a day in the not so forgotten past that he was unfamiliar with these glorious technology devices.

Back when I was in early high school, being awesome, wearing Lucky perfume (you know, the one in the pink bottle), I used old school (by old school I mean the ones that were sort of huge with the colored shell) Macs to design my school newspaper. I was telling my parents that we really needed to switch over to Macs at home. I mean we just got iPods and those things rule. So why not get a computer? Well they weren’t having it. Yet. I eventually convinced Father Beard that this was the greatest idea of all time and he finally got it. And now we have an Apple store at our house…. Beardintosh… or something.

But he will tell you, like his has told me only one singular time, that he remembers when the very first Macintosh computers came out and that he loved them before I did. So there’s that. Macs rule. PCs don’t.

Sincerely,

Kate Beardintosh

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