So today is Dress Your Pets Up Day. I don’t like animals. Honestly I really don’t. I have no desire to touch pets or have any kind of emotional relationship with them. I don’t want to be their friend. I don’t want to hang out with them.
I know that someone people think that I have no soul. That’s fine. I have human friends not animal ones. Some people think I’m crazy and that’s fine too, I go on walks with my friends not animals. With that being said this was NOT my most favorite day to celebrate.
I enlisted the help of my Aunt Becky. She loves animals. She likes to have relationships with them. She likes to touch them. She likes to snuggle with them. She likes to be their friend. Eww. I judge her, but she knows that.
She told me that she had several photographs of her pets dressed in various attire. So I stole them.
Becky loves her animals and I applaud her for this. But I loathe loathe LOATHE pet clothes. I dislike pets almost as much as I dislike pet clothes. I’m just not into it. It’s disturbing. Animal human relationships are disturbing too, but you already know that. I totally convinced you.
Now I want to get to the real story. On this most terrible of celebrations, I fell through the ceiling at my house in Bartlesville. It was spooky. Real spooky. I have a GIGANTIC bruise on the back of my leg. It is at least a foot long (not an exaggeration). I was getting a chair out of the attic with my mom and I stepped wrong. Oops. There is now a Kate sized hole in the ceiling. I shredded my leggings. I cut my back and my butt. It was scary.
My mom screamed a lot. A LOT. I landed. I laughed. I cussed. I laughed. I cussed. My mom told me to stop cussing. And we both laughed. It was the most ridiculous event ever. Here are the pictures to prove it.
I am completely fine. Parts of my body continue to ache. I will heal and so with the ceiling. It was scary as all get out. But I proceeded rationally. I tried to catch myself on one of the beams and then once I missed that, I looked at the floor and realized I could land successfully. Upon impact I assessed whether or not I was seriously injured. I wasn’t so I laughed. Please don’t fall through your ceilings, I don’t suggest it.
I have the best icebreaker story ever now.