I fell through a ceiling.

So today is Dress Your Pets Up Day. I don’t like animals. Honestly I really don’t. I have no desire to touch pets or have any kind of emotional relationship with them. I don’t want to be their friend. I don’t want to hang out with them.

I know that someone people think that I have no soul. That’s fine. I have human friends not animal ones. Some people think I’m crazy and that’s fine too, I go on walks with my friends not animals. With that being said this was NOT my most favorite day to celebrate.

I enlisted the help of my Aunt Becky. She loves animals. She likes to have relationships with them. She likes to touch them. She likes to snuggle with them. She likes to be their friend. Eww. I judge her, but she knows that.

She told me that she had several photographs of her pets dressed in various attire. So I stole them.

Rudy and Arnold dressed as a vampire and a pirate.

Thomas dressed as a hotdog. Oh the irony!

Becky loves her animals and I applaud her for this. But I loathe loathe LOATHE pet clothes. I dislike pets almost as much as I dislike pet clothes. I’m just not into it. It’s disturbing. Animal human relationships are disturbing too, but you already know that. I totally convinced you.

Now I want to get to the real story. On this most terrible of celebrations, I fell through the ceiling at my house in Bartlesville. It was spooky. Real spooky. I have a GIGANTIC bruise on the back of my leg. It is at least a foot long (not an exaggeration). I was getting a chair out of the attic with my mom and I stepped wrong. Oops. There is now a Kate sized hole in the ceiling. I shredded my leggings. I cut my back and my butt. It was scary.

My mom screamed a lot. A LOT. I landed. I laughed. I cussed. I laughed. I cussed. My mom told me to stop cussing. And we both laughed. It was the most ridiculous event ever. Here are the pictures to prove it.

Kate sized.

Free Fallin'

I showed you my butt. Worth it? Probably.

I am completely fine. Parts of my body continue to ache. I will heal and so with the ceiling. It was scary as all get out. But I proceeded rationally. I tried to catch myself on one of the beams and then once I missed that, I looked at the floor and realized I could land successfully. Upon impact I assessed whether or not I was seriously injured. I wasn’t so I laughed. Please don’t fall through your ceilings, I don’t suggest it.

Sincerely,

I have the best icebreaker story ever now.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “I fell through a ceiling.

  1. Just ran across your blog from Post A Day. Love it! Have fun celebrating, and I look forward to reading!

  2. Wes

    Pet clothing is disturbing. I’d say even 90% of pet owners would agree with that.

    Disliking animals as much as you do is also disturbing. Pets are frequently used for therapeutic purposes & have been proven to psychologically enrich people’s lives & well-being. They’re also associated with nature & innocence in most people’s minds, so by saying you hate them, you sound a bit… touched.

    More importantly, why pick a celebration you hate? I mean, if this is a bullshit celebration anyway, why not just make up your own.

    As for the roof, fantastic. Sorry about the bruises.

  3. stb

    Those cat-like-reflexes saved you…Beard genes say you’re welcome…hope you feel better…

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