Today is Kid Inventor Day. So I know a kid. He is pretty awesome. He’s my brother. His name is Tom Beard. A lot of people call him by his full name. Tom Beard. Tom Beard just rolls off the tongue. He is 10 years old and pretty hilarious. I asked him about his invention plans and then some other questions about important things. He answered accordingly.
Tom: What up sista?Sup? (use your best LL Cool J voice when reading this)
Me: Can I interview you for my blog?
Tom: Yes……OK what?
Me: If you could invent anything what would you pick?
Tom: Um…. I’m thinking (he thinks for a while)….. build a Halo guys armor. It would be able to… it’s just like regular armor, except it can breathe in outer space and stuff. And he can get a jet pack on his armor.
Me: Don’t you think they already have this kinda stuff?
Tom: No… Wait do they? (Tom Beard is jazzed about the existence of this stuff)
Me: Ok. What else would you invent? (I hope for something awesome)
Tom: A chair that can fly so I can never have to walk again. (what the heck?) Or a boat that can fly in the air. With the halo gear and go up into space and blow up a meteor because it has a gigantic gun on the end of it. And it’s a submarine too. So I would go underwater to discover Atlantis.
Me: If you could take credit for any invention what would you pick?
Tom: Legos, cause Legos are awesome.
Me: And you would probably be a billionaire.
Tom: Yea, a ba-jill-ion-aire.
Me: What would you do with a million dollars?
Tom: Buy legos and get a helicopter. (long pause) A Blackhawk helicopter. (duh)
Me: What if you had to help people with the money?
Tom: Well, then no Legos. I get the helicopter and then give away all the money.
Me: What would the money be used for?
Tom: Food for people.
Tom: Kate, I think you can answer that. (the tone here is one of complete exasperation due to answering my questions)
Me: Ok, if you could have any super power what would it be?
Tom: Have machine guns in your eyes.
Me: But that’s not really a super power.
Tom: Yes it is!! (He was defensive and I was convinced.)
Me: Choose between these: invisibility, flying, reading people’s minds.
Tom: Reading minds.
Tom: I could get them in trouble if they had done bad stuff. (Tom Beard loves rules. And justice.)
Tom: Kate, I need to go.
Me: Two more questions?
Tom: Ok, two more. Do them quick. (He is popular and has important things to do.)
Me: If you could tell people who read my blog one thing what would it be?
Tom: For them to say wawesome. I want them all to use wawesome. (Tom Beard made up this word. I means wicked and awesome. Together. Wawesome.)
Tom: How many people read your blog?
Me: A few. How many people should read it?
Tom: 1 million
Me: Why should people read my blog?
Tom: Because it’s wawesome.
Me: Why is it wawesome?
Tom: Because I’m in it. And because you write it.
Me: Is it funny?
Me: Wait, what times aren’t funny?
Tom: I don’t read your blog so I don’t know.
Me: Why don’t you read it?
Tom: Kate, I’m nine… I mean ten years old. Dad tells me all about it.
Tom: How many people do you intervew?
Kate: Just you.
So now you too know how awesome, I mean wawesome, my brother Tom Beard is. I hope you enjoyed his interview. Kid Inventor Day was a great success.
Packing for Atlantis