Aliens.

Extraterrestrial Culture Day. I don’t really know how I feel about aliens. I don’t feel bad about them, but I’m not ultra jazzed. I don’t think they really exist. I mean, are there small microbes in the universe somewhere? Maybe. Are there real live green martian like men out there? Doubtful. But that’s just me.

However, I knew this day was coming up. I did my research. I know that alien abductions get reported fairly often so I looked for some abductions in Norman. Guess what? There was one! Even better, it’s recent.

A couple was driving on highway 9 in Norman. They saw in the sky the following:

“It was triangle-shaped, with an orange light at each corner, and a blue-white light in the very center. There was ample light in the area to clearly see the object’s center light pulse, getting brighter as it did. A military helicopter was also present, flying between the witnesses and the triangle UFO.”

Anyway, they ended up losing 48 minutes. They don’t remember what happened. And they were clock watchers according to the story. Clock watchers, I so never want to be referred to as a clock watcher. Don’t let me become that person. Please. They lost the time and think they were abducted by aliens.

I wish I could tell you that my celebration today involved contacting aliens and having this insane story, but really the celebration stems from the conversations I had. Today I was reminded of one of my favorite scenes of all time from Back to the Future.

Marty McFly needs his high school dad to stop being such an idiot. He slaps on what I believe was Van Halen and tells him that his name is Darth Vader. If that isn’t extraterrestrial culture I don’t know what is.

And this brings me to the final frontier (sorry I couldn’t help myself). Area 51.

It’s the storehouse of all alien knowledge. And it’s a secret. A giant secret. Here’s the thing. We have national debt. And we have Area 51. Charge admission. Boom debt solved. You should ask me about my plan to cancel NASA for a year. We would make some serious headway on the financial crisis, but then we would no even LESS about the extraterrestrial culture.

Lastly, one of my favorite movies of all time is Waiting for Guffman. I adore Christopher Guest. Waiting for Guffman is the story of Blaine, Missouri. They had an alien landing in Blaine and there are some really great musical numbers to accompany that. If you haven’t seen that movie I demand that you see it. If you don’t we aren’t friends. Sorry, I’ve got standards.

That’s all I’ve got. Aliens are weird. I got really nervous when I was researching the aliens in Norman. It was a strange reaction to what I thought didn’t freak me out. Don’t worry, I didn’t lose 48 minutes of my life. So that’s that.

Sincerely,

Job hunting at Area 51

 

 

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