Kate Ochocinco

It’s Get a New Name Day! For the record I am quite pleased with my name. I am just a Kate. No Katherine, Kathleen, Kaitlyn, Katie or Kathy. Although, several people call me Katherine and I have maybe been called Kathy before. But it’s just Kate. I don’t like being called other Kate variations. However, the two people who call me Katherine and the several people who call me Kathy get away with it. But on this day, Get a New Name Day, I select a different name.

I think as a girl you grow up imagining what your name will be once you get married. Your first name has to sound good with whatever last name your betrothed is rocking. So Kate _______ better sound awesome. I’m thinking Worthington. Kate Worthington sounds fancy. And like I could run a business or something. There are some names that just shouldn’t go with Beard. What if I met this really marvelous fellow named Mr. A Cool First Name Trimmer. Kate Beard Trimmer. Not good. Not good at all. I hope that my little brother marries a girl with the last name Black. So she would become Mrs. First Name Black Beard. I am anti-hyphenation, but you can’t not keep a name like Black-Beard.

In honor of this day I really did look into the application to legally change your name. It wasn’t cheap. $130 for a name change. And you have to do a bajillion things in addition to that sweet cash. They really are not pleased when you want to change your name. The man is keeping us down.

If I had to change my first name, I would pick something old-fashioned. Eleanor. Evelyn. Or something cool like Piper

Here’s a fun fact: my email address is katesbeard. My middle name is not an S, it’s an E. But every variation of kateEbeard was snatched. So now it’s just possessive. Kate’s beard. Does that count as a name change? I didn’t fill out any forms, but gmail seems fairly official.

That’s all I’ve got for name changing. But let me update you with some things.

My mystery box is still unopened. This is what he currently looks like.

Those unchecked boxes are haunting me.

I received a surprise valentine today! I got back to Norman and sitting on my counter was a box addressed to Kate and Jordan. I was already on the phone with Jordan and she didn’t know what it was. So I opened it. My really wonderful friend Tanner who lives in Waco sent us personalized M&Ms. They had the following things on written on them. SUP? DAYUMM GIRL! His phone number. And this….

Tanner's face. Right there on an M&M. He sort of looks like Elvis.

It was one of the greatest Valentine’s Day surprises ever. Tanner is currently in the lead for greatest Valentine this year. But Mystery Box might take the cake, pending on what is inside. How did that phrase come to be? Did someone awesome go to town on a bake sale? I’m confused. I need the origin of that phrase stat.

I hope everyone is preparing to be in love tomorrow. Preparing to eat the crap out of the chocolates someone gave you. Or awkwardly anticipating flowers being sent to your office. Valentine’s Day is the most important holiday of all. Believe me. Holidays are my thing. But seriously, if you forgot to get your loved one a Valentine. You have time, but not a lot. Get to it.

Sincerely,

Mr. A Cool First Name Trimmer, will you be my valentine?

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Kate Ochocinco

  1. I just want to officially notify both you and Tanner that my next blog will be DayummGirl! I’m going to GoDaddy.com right now to reserve it.

  2. But of course I would loan it to you if you needed it.

  3. The real DJ Tanner

    Be expecting a lawsuit, Miss Magpie.

  4. Funny that you pick Eleanor or Evelyn as your alternate names…those are my two favs for our next child who, according to Adam, will be a girl. (P.S. Don’t worry, I am not currently with said child.)

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