There’s a lot of ways to interpret the words ‘sticky buns’. It could mean a tasty baked good or your backside covered in honey. While my celebration would have been slightly more interesting with later of the two, I opted for the scandal free celebration.
My little brother, Tom Beard, loves sticky buns. The ones that you can get at the gas station in the plastic wrapper that look really spooky. He loves them. So I figured the best was to celebrate would be to eat one of Tom Beard’s favorites.
I went to the gas station, although Tom Beard gets his sticky buns at the grocery store, and I bought a singular sticky bun. I felt a little strange buying a singular sticky bun at a gas station, but I’m 100% sure that wasn’t the strangest thing that has happened in a gas station.
I will have you know that this sticky bun isn’t called a sticky bun at all. It’s called a honey bun. I put logic to the test and figured since honey is sticky and all… it was basically the same thing as a sticky bun. And Tom Beard likes them, so I was on the right track.
I came home. Unwrapped the bun. Placed it on a plate. Placed said plate into the microwave and let technology do its job. 30 seconds later, I had a hot sticky bun. It looked tasty enough. I was wrong. It was weird. It tasted alright, but had a strange texture situation going on.
There were slimy bits. And newsflash, I don’t like slimy bits. So I only ate a few bites and I decided the next time I try to celebrate sticky bun day I won’t go to a gas station to get my sticky buns. I should probably only go there for gas and really cheap fountain drinks and Combos.
I’ve learned my lesson.
SIDENOTE: I’m watching Armageddon as I write this and I’m bawling like a baby. If you don’t cry while watching Armageddon you don’t have a soul.
Sticky Bun Day probably would have been a lot more hilarious is someones actual buns were sticky, but I feel like that would have been sort of an awkward conversation.
Me: Hey. I noticed you have buns.
Unassuming Human: Umm… yes… thank you?
Me: I was wondering if you were interested in having sticky buns….
Weirded Out Human: Well, not particularly….
Me: Haven’t you heard that song? Pour some sugar on me…. Still no?
But who knows maybe I could have made a new friend.
Thank you to those of you that posted your thoughts on Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. I still need your suggestions. The plan is to pick my 5 favorite and let you all vote.
Based on the comments and things that friends have told me my favorites thus far/the most requested celebrations are Justin Beiber Day, Blind Date Day, Brendan Fraser Day and Fly Somewhere Day. Please please please give me your suggestions. I would love to have a lot of different days to choose from.
Still not loving slimy bits
PS: I forgot to post the pictures of my mystery box. Here are a couple!