Monthly Archives: March 2011

Crayon Crafts!!

I made the most wonderful crayon craft today. I was really scared that I was going to do a terrible job. It was going to be a repeat of Pancake Day, and that day was not a success. At all.

I decided to make a melted crayon project. And it was awesome.

melted crayons.

cool art.

So melting crayons isn’t as easy as one would assume. I figured I would be able to melt crayons in the microwave. I figured incorrectly. Microwaves don’t melt crayons. At least after a minute and half. So I put them in the oven for about three minutes. Great success they melted! I poured them onto the wooden plank that you see in the picture. It actually turned out really cool. I’m excited that it didn’t turn out like Pancake Day.

Sincerely,

Distracted on the phone.

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A walk in the park.

I had really high hopes of taking an actual stroll in the park. However, Norman is cold and dreary. And cold and dreary don’t really do much for park walking. So I’m taking a more figurative take on Take a Walk in a Park Day. “Walk in the park” is a fairly popular saying meaning “Oh how easy!” So that’s the slant I’m taking today. I apologize if you are into literal translations.

Currently, my life is revolving around two things, graduating and job searching. Graduating: a walk in the park. Job search: not a walk in the park. At this point I have applied for around 20 something jobs. It’s exhausting. I have an interview and we will see how it goes. But I have to be honest. They don’t prepare you for this. You don’t walk in the doors of college your freshman year and sit down in your first class to hear someone tell you that four (give or take) (usually give) (but my in my case just four) years from now, you will be stressed out of your mind looking for a job.

They just don’t tell you that. They tell you to follow your passions and find something you are interested in. Not, spend four hours on indeed.com looking for obscure companies to work for. Someone should tell you that. Job searching is not a fun park to walk in. So with that in mind, I give you my resume. Maybe one of you has an interesting job for me out there. I don’t know maybe the public relations directors of Ogilvy and Weber Shandwick read my blog. I blacked out some things. Maybe crazy Joe Divola reads this blog. I don’t want him to have my address. In the extreme off chance that you do think my resume rules and you want me to come work at your company, email me through The Celebrationist at kate@thecelebrationist.com.

So professional.

Well that’s out of my system. Sometimes I just need to vent and make park walking analogies. Forgive me. Walk in the Park Day has been a strange day for celebrations.

In other news, this is totally unrelated. But sort of funny and interesting. My Aunt was in OKC today and we started talking about words that only our family use. We texted my mom and my cousin Jane for help brainstorming. I now give you a lesson in the diction of my family.

Bothery– to be annoying, a nuisance, unfortunate.

How to use bothery: I had to take finals today they were so bothery. There was a bothery person on my flight kicking my chair the whole time. You get the idea.

History: When I was a small child I started using this word. I use it as a term of annoyance. Feel free to incorporate it into your daily vocabulary.

Slickery– shiny, slick, smooth.

How to use slickery: I wore my slickery sweats to school today.

History: I have called wind breakers slickery sweats my entire life. I don’t know who came up with the term. I wore a lot of slickery sweats as a child.

Gwon– a combination of the words go and on.

How to use gwon: I was just standing in the kitchen with the cousins when Aunt Barbara told us to gwon.

History: Gwon has been used by the adults in our family for centuries. If there are too many people in the kitchen at Christmas or Thanksgiving everyone is told to gwon. If someone is trying to tell a crazy story that the cousins can’t hear they are told to gwon.

Holright– a variation of the word alright. Used mainly in phone conversations.

How to use holright: “I’m walking into the grocery store, I’ll call you later.” “Holright, I love you bye.”

History: We all use it. It’s how we hang up on the phone. It has spread to my other phone conversations, I’m sure I’ve holrighted some of you before. It’s said very quickly and with a lot of breath in your throat.

Deeda Whata– cute, how precious, I want one of those.

How to use deeda whata: “Jane, look at that dress in the window!” “Deeda whata! Let’s go inside.”

History: I have no idea who came up with this, although my first guess would be my cousin Betsy. The usage of deeda whata usually involves excessive hand gesturing of some sorta. Abby and Betsy take deeda whata to an extreme and incorporate additional sound effects.

Hideous Cob– ugly, horrible, heinous.

How to use hideous cob- I wanted to go look at the house for sale on the corner, but as soon as I walked in I realized things were hideous cob.

History: When my sister Abby was little she would always say ‘bobby cob’ and die laughing. She just made it up. She and Jack would say bobby cob over and over. Cob sort of got adapted into the vernacular of our family. Now people add cob to anything negative, mainly hideous cob. Cob is a term of nastiness.

Roared– fast movements, pushiness. Usually used when driving.

How to use roared- Damma screamed when we were driving today because a crazy lady roared onto the highway.

History: I’m not sure the reason roared became a term we used. In addition to driving references, roared can be used to describe someone in a mall or airport.

Lord of Moses– pronounced Lord’a Moses. An exclamation, term of approval, term of shock.

How to use Lord of Moses- Lord of Moses did you see all the clothes at the Baby Gap today? Lord of Moses, you got your hair colored!

History: This is most certainly my cousin Betsy’s term. I believe she said this as a small child and it stuck. I say it all the time.

I love my family very much. We have a lot of fun together. I can only imagine over hearing a conversation using the above listed words. Feel free to try some of them out.

Sincerely,

Job searching is bothery.

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It was a very good day.

Today is Mom and Pop Business Day and the day Coca Cola was invented. I nailed two birds with one stone and celebrated them at the same place. Two birds with one stone is a funny saying. As soon as I typed it I drew this:

Two birds one stone.

So there’s that. My drawing of what it would look like to take out two birds with one stone. I throw a mean curve stone with a sling shot.

Back to the celebrations, for lent (or for personal gain, because I don’t really celebrate lent) I gave up pop. I went all of three weeks without having it. Until last night at around 10:30 pm I was in dire need of a large Diet Coke with extra vanilla. I broke down, after Chelsie told me it was going to be ok, and got a delicious beverage. I was so pleased with the carbonated, caffeinated syrupy delight. So today being the day that coke was invented, I was much less sad about drinking pop. I had some Diet Coke after dinner tonight and I had a Dr Pepper when I got home, because let’s be honest Dr Pepper is the king of pop.

There is a place in Norman called Classic 50’s. It’s an old-fashioned drive in. You can get candy in your drinks and they have these deals call Potato Boats that I would sell my soul for, ok maybe just my pinky finger. (Would you love me if I was missing a leg? I wouldn’t love you if you were missing a pinky finger!) Anyone?? Anyone??

So we went to Classic’s and it was delightful. Chelsie and I had a serious long talk and serious long talks are the best kind of talks. Unless it’s a short hilarious one, because those are really great too. But Classic’s has been around for ages and is locally owned. And Coke has been around for ages and used to have illegal drugs in it. And that’s all I have to say about that.

I know all of you are dying to know where we were coming from, because you are nosy. And I don’t blame you, I’m nosy too. Well we were at the Thunder game!! Kappa bought everyone that wanted to go a Thunder ticket! We sat in the nose bleeds, which they call Noise City to boost morale, but it was just as fun as ever. We played Golden State, and I was reminded of my crush on Stephen Curry.

Here are some pictures. I would have had much better pics, except I left my camera at home like an idiot. IPhone pics will have to do.

Your nose is bleeding too now, sorry.

Two sweet Kappa girls, who are fans of The Celebrationist, asked if I was going to blog the Thunder game. I wasn’t actually planning on it, but I figured why not. They were jazzed and so I decided to include them!

Allison and Amanda are very cool. They both have cool blonde hair. My hair aspires to be that cool.

So that’s what I did today. It’s almost like you were here. But I have one more thing to show you. I found part of my graduation gift from a relative of sorts last weekend. But let me prepare you. I love antiques and I have an affinity for all things yellow. Not regular yellow, but horrible greenish goldish burnt scary beautiful yellow. And these chairs are just that. I could not be happier with the purchase. I’m sad that I don’t have them in my house in Norman. I got them for when I move off somewhere and have an apartment in a cool grown up city.

These are lovely. Quite lovely.

I know you might hate them. I’m fine with that. I just won’t be inviting you to my cool grown up apartment, in a city far far away. I mean I might, but those chairs will be there, so you’ll just have to deal… or keep your eyes closed.

Sincerely,

A really really good artist.

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Something on a Stick Day

Hi there. I’m writing this from my desk. Which is incredibly unusual, because I usually sit snuggled in my bed to write this. But I finally found a desk chair that I liked at a cool antique store, so here I am. At a desk. Working on my posture.

Today is Something on a Stick Day. I’m sure all of you have anxiously, or not so anxiously pending on your dedication to this blog, been waiting for some really great food on a stick experience for this day. However, I regret to inform you that I did not attend a carnival, county fair, festival, side of the road get together or other place that would sell food on a stick today. I went to Sam’s. Expecting to find samples galore. I would be able to use toothpicks to try all sorts of things on a stick. Newsflash, Sam’s doesn’t hand out delicious treats past lunch time. I was so let down. Not to fear, I celebrated cutely.

Katie, my dear friend whom my brother calls Kristen, was with me. She reminded me that Starbucks had cake pops. So a ball of cake on a stick! Something on a Stick Day was shaping up. We continued to wander around Sam’s and we found ourselves at the flowers. We both clearly wanted some flowers for our rooms. We both clearly didn’t want to spend a million dollars on flowers for our rooms. So we split a bouquet. This was no small bouquet. There were 25 stems of spray roses. There were outrageous amounts of flowers going on. It was lovely, and it’s still lovely sitting on my desk.

Sidenote: I think lovely is the nicest word. To me being called lovely is the most wonderful compliment.

We realized that flowers were sort of something on a stick… right? OK, so they are on a stem, but a stem is a kind of a stick….right? Right!! That’s two things on a stick! Hooray us!

Off to Starbucks we went. We got the cutest pink cake pops and devoured them in the car. I made sure to take a picture, because I knew you would want to see them.

Katie "Cake Pop" Ross

I need to practice never making that face in pictures.

The cake pops were this good.

That's a lot of good if you ask me.

We went to Katie’s house to arrange flowers and they were beautiful and wonderful and flowery and I loved them. Katie put her flowers in a mason jar and they looked like they belonged in a magazine.

I might just change my blog header to these delightful little guys.

Something on a Stick Day had so much potential to be deep-fried and buttery, I’m sorry that wasn’t the path I chose to walk down. There’s just so many corn dogs you can consume in one celebrating season.

However, I wish it was the first week of June. In my hometown of Bartlesville, America there is an arts festival called SunFest. SunFest brings out all sorts of people. And by all sorts I mean crazy people. I love SunFest with my whole heart, mainly because I see more mullets and more tube tops that I ever thought possible. SunFest is the perfect location for things on a stick.

There is one particular treat that I always get at SunFest, after I’ve had a foot long corndog and fried pickles and homemade rootbeer and an Indian taco, I always get a giant corn on the cob on a stick. It is heaven, unless you have braces, then it is the opposite of heaven. Good thing I haven’t had braces in ages. They dip the corn directly into butter. That is 360 degrees of butter ensconced upon your corn on the cob on a stick. THEN, you get to add whatever spices you so desire. I always go with lemon pepper, with a little, I said a LITTLE, garlic salt. It’s messy and drippy and perfect.

I wish I could give all of you a nugget of SunFest just so you could experience it. Believe me a nugget is all you need.

Sincerely,

Double points if the mullet and tube top are on the same person.

PS: April’s list is up! Check it out here! This Month’s Celebrations

PPS: If you go to the University of Oklahoma don’t forget to vote tomorrow for UOSA elections! Hannah and Laura would greatly appreciate your vote!

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Dogs, Guns, Booze and Women

Those are the four main ingredients to a really great country music song. I know that you all probably don’t appreciate, or care, about the inner workings of country music. That is more than fine, I do not judge, to each his own. However, I think you should at least be fully aware of the potential greatness you are missing out on.

Country music, more than any other genre, has main things that are discussed among the lyric. Dogs. Guns. Booze. Women. It a foursome of great magnitude and proportion. Four things that make some of the most hilarious song titles of all time. And today, on Quirky Country Music Title Day, I share with you the titles of country music songs I found that seemed most ridiculous.

If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now

How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?

If Whiskey Were A Woman I’d Be Married For Sure

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You

I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me

And my personal favorite, Redneck Mother.

Within those song titles I covered dogs, guns, booze and women. There were a million more to choose from. The point is the culture of country music is extremely in tune with affairs of the heart, or at least something really close to that. I’m not saying that these songs are the most profound works of prose I’ve ever laid ears on, but I am saying that some times, you just want say things simply. Some times you just need to say it without using a 54 point word (which I used this week in Words With Friends). Sometimes you just gotta say it like a country song.

Sidenote: I wish you could hear me read this blog. I have a really fantastic white trash voice. I mean it’s really fantastic. I can delve into super detailed background stories. With names and details and all sorts of insane characters. Reading about country music in this voice just makes things better. If you see me just ask, I usually don’t mind using this voice. However, one time, during OU/Texas weekend I used this voice for over an hour and things got crazy.

Now for Redneck Mother. It’s the weirdest country music song for sure. My dearest mother and father introduced this song to me at a young age and I haven’t looked back. Jerry Jeff Walker does it right with Redneck Mother. The only way to really let you experience the redneck goodness is to just let you listen to it. So, here you go, don’t look down upon my upbringing. I promise my mom also practiced my opposites with me and made sure I knew what to do in apocalyptic disasters. I realize that this song isn’t exactly under the title of quirky country music titles, but let’s be honest, I just use this blog to push my awesome hilarious propaganda on you. Well, that cat’s out of the bag… oops.

Listen to the whole thing. Just do it. You will laugh and in turn be a little more cultured, or something. I realize that you could seriously change your opinion of me, this blog, the state of Oklahoma and country music in general. But sharing this song with you is way worth you changing your opinion. And if you change your opinion then you really need to get more of a backbone. I hope you enjoyed Quirky Country Music Title Day. And I hope you bought a Jerry Jeff Walker greatest hits album.

Sincerely,

Betty Lou Thelma Liz

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Quickfire Wins

Well Quickfire Challenge Day won. By one vote. It was close but I didn’t have to go on a blind date thankfully, I mean unfortunately. So I had a quickfire challenge with Chelsie. My mom was in town so she judged and bought the ingredients for the quickfire challenge.

If you are desperately confused on what a quickfire challenge is, you clearly don’t watch enough Food Network. On the show Top Chef there is a challenge where contestants must make a dish based on what ingredients the host provides. We were sort of nervous.

My mom picked the five ingredients. Brie. Mint. Kumquats. Panko bread crumbs. Crescent rolls. We brainstormed and had 45 minutes to prepare our dishes. We also could use anything I had in my kitchen, which don’t kid yourselves, wasn’t much.

I’ll discuss Chelsie’s dish first. She first started with a pie pan and eggs. I look over there and say, “A pie with eggs, huh?” Then with the crescent rolls she lined the loaf dish. In the mean time, she sautéed onions with turkey in kumquat juice and olive oil. She put it in the crescent roll lined pan added brie and mint, added two beaten eggs, closed up the top with the rest of the crescent dough. Covered with butter (a lot of butter, she pulled a Paula Deen) and bread crumbs. Baked for 25 minutes.

Now for my dish. I sliced a chicken breast. Cooked in a bit of butter. Squeezed half of the available kumquats into a saucepan. Added chopped up mint and sugar and lemon juice. Heated that. I then lined four cupcake wells with crescent roll dough. I scooped some of the chicken into each of the wells, added a bit of brie on top of the chicken and covered them with more crescent dough. I then poured some of the citrus saucy goodness over the chicken pods and baked them for about 12ish minutes or something. I think. I didn’t really pay attention.

My mom then tried our meals. My chicken pods were tasty and Chelsie’s quickfire pie was just as delicious. The verdict was that my sauce on Chelsie’s breakfast/quiche/quickfire pie would be the most delicious. We also both completely failed with the mint. Oops. Sorry mint.

Now for the documentation.

 

The cast of characters.

Just getting our Giada on.

Kumquats are so tiny.

Chelsie loves chopping onions.

We made a delicious mess.

Chelsie's challenge dish.

My chicken pod!

Consider yourself judged.

 

Quickfire Day was a great success. Thank you to those of you that voted. Make Up Your Own Holiday Day was so fun. However, I had really bad anxiety about making my dish. It was spooky.

Sincerely,

Kate Chicken Pod Beard

PS: It is my goal to have one dish that I am really good at making so one day my kids friends will say, “Man, so and so’s mom makes the best chicken pods.” Or whatever other dish I’m awesome at making, but maybe it will be chicken pods, who knows.

PPS: I promise not to name my children so and so (or what’s her face or the cheerleader or the ugly one).

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Tolkien Reading Day

Well today is Tolkien Reading Day. And let me tell you. I love me some J. R. R. Tolkien. He was a brilliant guy. I mean he made up 14 languages, just for The Lord of the Rings. That’s some serious dedication. I made up like 5 languages for this blog, but whatever.

I love LOTR. I am a giant nerd. I quote the movies on a regular basis. I’ve read the books. It’s just part of my life. And the people around me love LOTR as well. It was sort of a family thing. We would go to Tulsa for the premieres, have dinner before and make a LOTR night out of it.

I still have my tickets from going to see the premieres in theaters. I will suggest this to you, based on my experience with LOTR movie watching. Never, ever, under any circumstances go to a midnight premiere and go see the movie the next day and pretend that was your first time to see it. Believe me, it’s not wise. It will be held over your head for years YEARS to come.

Since it’s Tolkien Reading Day, and I didn’t spend my entire day reading thousands of pages of glorious text, I will share with you some of my favorite LOTR’s quotes.

At Bilbo Baggins’ birthday, the speech he gives is outstanding. Now, this quote is from the movie… I don’t readily have the books available, so this will have to do. I think J. R. R. would understand.

“My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots.” “Proudfeet!” “Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!” “Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits.” “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

That last line. Genius. I feel like saying that occasionally, you know, when I’m giving birthday speeches and such.

Pretty much any time Aragorn speaks I swoon. He might be my movie character/book character crush. He and Ferris Bueller.

But there is one time in particular. It’s in Return of the King.

“Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!”

I’m not going to lie, I got a little teary during the speech. If you a LOTR fan this speech was the equivalent of the William Wallace speech in Braveheart.

Sam, who wins best friend of the year award, says the following and he truly means it. “I made a promise, Mr Frodo. A promise. “Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.” And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.”

However, the greatest quote in all of the movies, is in Return of the King. It’s so awkward. Legolas awkwardly declares during a battle brainstorm session. “A diversion!” It’s strange and awkward and I laugh every time.

I truly understand the level of my nerdiness. I get it. I don’t apologize. I also like Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars and end of the world sci-fi dramas. Deal with it.

Now, tomorrow is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and the poll is still going. I’ll close it tomorrow at some point so get your votes in. Vote kindly.

Sincerely,

Moving to Gondor.

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