I heart Corey Hart.

It’s Sunglasses Day and you better believe the celebration today will focus on the music video for ‘I Wear My Sunglasses at Night’. In 1984 Corey Hart released that hot jam. It’s one of those songs that gets stuck in my head on a strangely regular basis. Now, I’m sure not many of you know more lyrics than I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can. I figured this was the case. Let me walk you through some of the better lyrics.

Don’t switch the blade on a guy in shades, oh no, oh no. Lyric genius if you ask me. Now, since I wasn’t alive in 1984 I ask my mom, who happens to be sitting right here, what she thought of the greatest song of all time. Her response, “I thought it was stupid”. While I am slightly saddened, I understand. I mean seriously wearing your sunglasses at night has got to be hazardous. You can freaking see anything. But you feel like a superhero. Just look at this video!

Let’s discuss the highlights.

1. Everyone lounging against that wall wearing their sunglasses. Who are they? Where are they going? Is that guy playing a violin?

2. What papers are they approving? Whoever has control of that stamp just notarized the crap out of some documents.

3. How did Corey Hart rip his shirt? Answer, he couldn’t see where he was going with those sunglasses on.

4. Why is Corey Hart in trouble with the Gestapo?

5. Corey Hart really needs to clean his apartment.

6. I had no idea you could seduce the lady warden to let you out of the fake prison by reminding her, yet again, that you wear your sunglasses at night.

After watching that video and reading the lyrics I honestly couldn’t tell you at all what that song is about. I did walk away with one thing. Corey Hart wears his sunglasses, not during the day, but at night.

In honor of this day, I also wore my sunglasses. Not at night, but during the day, when they are useful. And not a hindrance to my safety. I have some really great Ray Bans. The rays were definitely banned today.

Not at night.

Feel free to wear your sunglasses at night if you are interested in getting arrested by your potential love interest girlfriend that works for the Gestapo.

Sincerely,

Don’t be afraid of the guy in shades.

Oh no. Oh no.

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