American Redneck Day

This is a real holiday. A really great hilarious holiday that I am thrilled to celebrate. In honor of this holiday and the American theme of this whole weekend, I will be posting some pictures and telling some stories.

I don’t have many skills. I’m good at certain things, but I don’t have a skill I could barter if necessary or a skill that could make me money (aside from career type things). I can’t make beautiful cupcakes. I can’t knit interesting hats. I don’t build birdhouses. I don’t paint water colors. But. I have one skill. Well, less of a skill and more of a gift.

I have a great redneck accent and I can make up elaborate stories whilst using my redneck accent. I have gotten in a fake redneck fight in a bar with a friend of mine. It’s always an adventure when I start using my accent. It’s very difficult to convey via blog. But if you see me around and ask I will gladly use it.

I’ll be sure to tell you how my daddy got locked up cuz he was skimming money off his buddy’s liquor store that he was working at on the weekends and now my momma and cousin Rodney had to take over his illegal cable installation business. You know, something along those lines.

I love the 4th of July weekend. I love it so much. 4th of July is my favorite holiday (officially recognized and popularly celebrated holiday) second to Thanksgiving. I’ve been requesting pictures to be sent my way in honor of your celebrations. I have been sent two and I’ve taken one and then I have others to share with you. It’s a patriotic picture cornucopia, see what I did there? Here goes.

This is Madelyn. We went to college together. She loves America.

The following picture is one of the greatest photos I have ever received. It is the best celebration for American Redneck Day and in turn makes me want to be in Chicago immediately. The two in the photo want you to know, “Make sure that people know Real Americans aren’t afraid to rock the city.” Now all of you know, these two Real Americans were in no way afraid to rock the city.

Consider yourself rocked city.

I also happened to take this picture of my little brother today. He also loves America.

Flexing for America.

American Redneck Day was a glorious event. Clearly. I will have more pictures for you tomorrow. Pictures of me on the 4th of July growing up. Me on the 4th of July tomorrow. It’s going to be great. I know you’re thrilled.

Sincerely,

I can’t wait to see everyone’s poorly taken fireworks pictures tomorrow.

PS: This is what happens when you google Redneck. You’re welcome.

They look friendly.

 

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1 Comment

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One response to “American Redneck Day

  1. America

    Respect.

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