I don’t think nature is a big Celebrationist fan. It seems like every time I try and have a festive outdoor pool related celebration the skies open up and ruin everything. Cool.
It was 105 degrees today. Good pool weather. But after lunch, the skies fell. I was sitting on my couch, looking for shoes to wear to a wedding that I’m in this August, when all of the sudden I hear my car (that I am going to be saying goodbye to in a matter of weeks) getting pounded with the largest raindrops ever recorded on the face of the earth. They were big. Real big. With in 10 seconds or so it was raining so hard I almost couldn’t see Mrs. Cox’s house across the street.
It was a monsoon. There was some fantastic lightning. I love storms. The bigger and scarier the better. This one wasn’t full of tons of lightning or thunder, but it was great none the less. I started realizing that anytime it rains in the summer, I immediately feel the need to have on sweatpants. I want nothing more than to be snuggled up.
But this wasn’t Snuggled Up Day, that day has already come and gone, (I bought couches that day if I recall correctly) it’s Swimming Pool Day. Naturally, when my celebration plans get foiled, I just tell a story that I find particularly hilarious. If you don’t find my stories particularly hilarious, I’m surprised you have made it to July. I would have bailed out mid February if I were you. So I can only assume that if you are here, reading this nonsense, that you do in fact like my stories. Or at least like to laugh about how strange I am around the watercooler at work tomorrow. (Watercoolers: still a thing? Not a thing?)
I digress, once upon a time on a spring afternoon, my father and my uncle made a bet. You see, we were at my aunt and uncle’s house with our entire family (7 cousins, 3 sets of parents, 1 set of grandparents) and they have a pool in their backyard.
However, it wasn’t pool season quite yet and when it isn’t pool season quite yet there is a tarp that covers the depths of spookiness that lie below. My father bets my uncle (they are both named Steve and both dentists and live in the same town) that he won’t swim from one side of the pool to the other….. UNDER THE TARP…. IN ALL THE SPOOKINESS!
My uncle, not trying to be shown up at his own pool, accepts the bet. Cries of joy and terror come from The Cousins, so thrilled that they will witness this feat of strength.
In jeans and a t-shirt my uncle steps into the pool at one end, the tarp pulled back for an entrance and exit spot only, and begins his swim. I’m sure this was similar to swimming the English Channel or SEAL training in the ocean, but he didn’t complain. All the way across the pool he went and emerged victorious at the other end. Covered in…stuff and rather cold. But he had won! He was $100 richer and we had all seen the greatest thing we would ever see.
Seriously though, are they still a thing?