It’s Nude Day. I’ve been looking forward to today since last December when I scanned through the yearly options. I have long since pondered celebration options and I usually end that ponder session with the conclusion that being naked is something I don’t want to be in relation to this blog.
But I did get naked today in honor of Nude Day. I showered. I was 100% naked for about 20 minutes. I know it’s hard to believe, I’m a long showerer. I always have been. Anyway, I didn’t really want to remain naked after that so I put clothes. I had errands to run and being naked during your errands seems illegal.
But, as I was putting my stuff in my car I had another nearly nude moment. I had grabbed my pillow and the blanket I had brought to Norman and I was unlocking my car to put them in inside. Well, turns out with a grabbed my stuff my tank top got awkwardly relocated. Thankfully no one was there to see my flash awkwardness.
It’s also my sister Abby’s birthday. She is 17. I thought it was sort of hilarious that it was Nude Day on her birthday, but I figured a birthday suit was such a great celebration.
In even more of a celebration, I order cupcakes today. Except I ordered them naked, sans icing. I am decorating them for my friend Lauren’s bachelorette party this weekend. But I told the lady I wanted them naked. I then told her just no icing because she clearly wasn’t following what I meant by naked.
The crowning jewel of Nude Day is this little naked nugget. I am sort of in love with her. She has quickly stolen the heart of every human in my family. She is the one person that can be naked and it isn’t frowned upon, because occasionally nakedness is very very frowned upon.
Now that brings me to my final topic: Good and Bad Naked.
Not every naked situation is a good situation. For example, naked baby: good. Naked taxi driver: bad. Naked nudists: good. Naked jockeys: bad. Naked skinny dippers: good. Naked gardeners: bad.
There was a Seinfeld episode about good and bad naked. It is perhaps one of my favorite episodes of all. Kramer makes food in his shower. George goes to anger management, against his will. Jerry discusses good and bad naked.
The premise is that his girlfriend struts around the house naked. Immediately this is put into the good naked category. However, she starts doing household activities naked and things take a turn for the worse. No one looks good opening a jar of pickles naked. That’s just weird. And that’s were naked goes bad. It’s a clear line between good and bad naked a very clear pro-clothing line.
So there’s that. Nakedness.
Please don’t celebrate in public today, I don’t want to get sued.
PS: A few months ago I was trying to think of ways to show a picture of Nude Day without getting this blog shut down. I set my camera on my bathroom floor and took a picture of my feet, thinking, “Oh what a good idea”. Until I looked at the pictures and my feet looked like aliens. I opted out of showing you my naked feet. They don’t photograph well from foot level. You’re welcome.