Watermelons aren’t delicious. You will never convince me otherwise. But it’s Watermelon Day and I feel morally and blogally responsible for telling you about watermelons.
I think they are the prettiest of all melons. Everything about them screams amazing. Bright green inedible rind! Bright pink inedible insides! It’s so pretty. But it really shouldn’t be for eating. It should be for staring or covering with Vaseline and throwing into a pool. Not for eating. But do not be deceived by it’s beauty. It’s a trap!! It does not ever tastes as good as it looks sitting on a plate. I didn’t even try to get a watermelon today because I didn’t think you all wanted to see me barf.
But I have a problem, all my people love watermelon. My mom cuts watermelons lengthwise and eats them in their entirity. She really loves it, like loves too too much. (If you love watermelon so much why don’t you just marry it!? Those jokes were never funny, but I’m practicing for Tell a Joke Day). I always try to love watermelon. I always try to appease the cries from the crowds that are just desperate for my taste buds to make a revolutionary change and start loving watermelon so I try it.
And I make the same face every time. It’s not pretty it’s a sign of major disgust. It has the worst texture. It’s gritty and peicey and nasty. I want to like it. I really do. I love watermelon flavored things, but the real deal is awful. So I don’t like watermelon. Get over it.
But here’s what I did with my last night. I forgot to go into major detail when I blogged last night because I was in the middle of planning The Greatest Fall of All Time. Sean and I are attending some really great events. Some really really great patriotic events. It’s going to rule. So here’s the set list of my fall.
Kid Rock. While I’m not the most giantest Kid Rock fan in all the land, Sean is. So we are going. If anything it will be hilarious.
Toby Keith. He loves the Sooners and I love the Sooners and he has fun music and it’s outside and it’s going to be great.
Josh Abbott Band. Small venue. Red Dirt country. I cannot wait. I love me some JAB.
Ben Rector. I have seen Ben Rector in concert twice already, but twice isn’t enough!
Alex and her boyfriend Blake are visiting.
Not eating watermelon!
Chelsie is visiting during her favorite month.
A short trip to Nashville is happening for a wedding.
It’s a delightful series of events.
And while we were searching for awesome concerts to go to this fall, we also found what we are doing for my birthday. I am the most excited for this.
On my birthday, at a bar not far from my apartment, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is showing for free. There will be cheap beer and hotdogs. It’s going to rule. It’s like they knew that it was my birthday and they are having a huge party for me. Where the guests are required to watch a preselected movie and pay for their own food. The best birthday ever!
If anyone has access to a white fringe jacket please let me know.