I’ve been living in this big wonderful city for almost one calendar year. I have one year’s worth of Chicago things under my belt. I’m excited about all of those things, but recently I couldn’t figure out what wasn’t fitting. I adore my job, I adore my friends here, I adore my small apartment, nothing was glaringly annoying.
Until I realized there wasn’t a break in my year. There wasn’t a Christmas break or a spring break or a summer vacation to mark the turnover of a new year. That’s not to say I didn’t go on vacation this summer or last Christmas, I did. But there wasn’t something that was built into my year by another institution. Upon this realization, I had this conversation with Chelsie:
Me: “I realized that up until this point in my life, there has always been some built in reevaluation of my status, whether that was a move or a semester ending. And now any change that I want to make or any self-evaluation has to come completely from within. And I think that sort of scares me.”
CB: “Yes!! I think that’s why I got so excited about this conference. I thought about that they other day when I was wondering why I felt so dissatisfied with my job, because there’s NO NEXT STEP UNLESS I MAKE IT. That is frightening.”
Me: “I’m so glad you understand this. I think this is what it means to be a grown up. I think this was our first step in understanding that at 23 years old we have to be semi-adults…”
CB: “That and bills. Bills, bills, bills.”
And while bills are the true mark of growing up, realizing that you have to self-govern from here on out is slightly intimidating. It’s not by any means a bad thing, but it’s not exactly something I’ve had to do before. I’m not entirely sure what it entails. Do I need to start reading the Times? Do I need to get a tailor? What are the things I must do now? Get my eyes checked more frequently? I’ve been rocking 20/20 vision forever so I don’t know the new rules.
I’m pretty sure I don’t have to do any of those things. I think I just have to be more aware of what the next year holds and actually make a list of life improvement things to do and stick to it. Cleaning out my closets and taking vitamins more regularly seems like a good place to start. Doing my dishes consistently and not waiting till every pair of underwear I own is in the dirty clothes to do laundry seems like the way to move in the right direction.
But if anyone knows how I can sign up for a free personal assistant that will regulate my life, feed me vitamins and tell me when to do my laundry, please let me know.
Inventing semesters for grown ups.
PS: I say grown ups very, very loosely.