Notes on Trying.

It’s been a while. I get it. I’m sorry. And I know, of all days to come back begging for your love, Valentine’s Day seems so cliché. But you forgive me right, because secretly you missed me? I’ve missed you too. I’ve just needed to go on a slight hiatus for my own sanity. My sanity is restored for the most part, as much as one’s sanity can be restored. I’m not saying I’m here everyday. But I am saying I’m reevaluating the forward progress of the blog. I won’t be celebrating holidays every day, but I might be telling you stories or rants or general thoughts. So do with that what you will.

My silence was broken today due to my inability to keep my opinions on the topic of Trying to myself. Or my opinions on any topic to myself, but that is another story for another day. So let’s get down to business.

I love Valentine’s Day. I don’t understand why everyone has to throw  such a fit about Valentine’s. It’s one day. It’s flowers. It’s a post-it note even. It’s just not that hard. It just isn’t. It’s not hard to show a minute amount more love than usual.

There are always ALWAYS the excuses. “But I treat everyday like Valentine’s!” Do, you? Really? Name me the last time you wrote a card for your person. When, in the past 364 days, did you send flowers? Never, you didn’t? Then stop using that lame-ass excuse. That’s right, I said lame-ass.

Single people are just as much to blame. Their self loathing sends them into a spiral of inability on Valentine’s Day. Single people: GET OVER IT. You were single February 13th and you will, more than likely based on your horrible outlook on love and potential consumption of red wine this evening, be single on February 15th. February 14th is in no way a day that you are more aware of your singleness. You just wanted flowers. Or a card. Or a post it. Or anything really. Newsflash, you have friends. Have fun with your friends on Valentine’s Day. Cease with the self-loathing! My recently restored sanity will crumble if I have to hear you discuss the lack of doting in your life. Just try a small amount not to cry mascara tears and in turn buy your friends NBA themed Valentine’s, that’s what Tom Beard did.

So this brings me back to the topic at hand: Trying. It just isn’t that hard. It really isn’t. A post-it note takes 15 seconds to write and .344 to stick somewhere. If you are trying to tell me that you didn’t have 15.344 seconds to spare today, you seriously have to stop feeding your Tamagotchi so often.

It is not hard to try. It doesn’t take much effort and it is free, because let’s not kid ourselves, that’s the part of this you are the most angry about. Dollars. Alex built her boyfriend a fort, not unlike the one from The Holiday. She then got trapped in portions of her house because she built said fort at 3:00 in the afternoon, but she tried and it was free.

Here’s a list to help you take a step into the world of trying if you, like so many, find it unbearable.

1. Fort Building. Free. Cozy. Alex did it.
2. Post-its. Free. Multicolored. Only takes 15.344 seconds.
3. Text message. Unlimited data plan. 20 seconds. Less kind, but still it’s trying.

Those are free ones. Feel free to send an edible arrangement if you are willing to spend some doll hairs. To me. Feel free to send me an edible arrangement.

So there you go, silence broken. Opinions shared, and I say shared loosely.

Sincerely,

Trying: Not that hard, since always.

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One Year

I knew this day would come eventually. I feel like it snuck up on me. It has been one of the most fun things I have accomplished. I am sort of proud of myself for finishing this project. If I could redo any months it would be May and December. I feel like those were the two months that I was the busiest.  I apologize. But over all I couldn’t have been happier with how this year has gone. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Tonight is the last night. It’s the last day that I am going to be writing to you about my celebrations. The last day that I will be required to write on here. Not to say that I won’t come up with some exciting to tell you about next year. But for now. I’m done. I made it past St. Patrick’s Day. I did it. I completed a One Year Project. I can cross it off my bucket list. It’s really on there you know.

You know at the end of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, when Ferris finally makes it to his room after running through his neighborhood and he throws the baseball to turn off the snoring? That’s what today is. Today is me throwing the baseball at my snoring sound machine. I’ve been running through the city. Singing in parades. Eating at Chez Quis. And having the best year ever. I have all of you to thank. But now I’m finished.

So thank you for putting up with my nonsense and laughing at my jokes, or laughing because I try and tell jokes and fail. I am going to miss all of you quite a lot. I feel like my days will be missing something without you. I will try and post occasionally, when the void in my heart is just too much. Did you feel like that was a line from a movie? I did. I instantly hated how dramatic it was after I said it.

Have the most fantastic New Year’s Eve. I’m wearing sequins.

So this is it. I have no more jokes and no more holidays. I like you and I’ll miss you, so much.

Sincerely,

The End

PS: I got a little teary…

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BACON

Bacon deserves to have all caps. It’s bacon, have you had it before? It’s pretty good. Since I’m home, there are many many more treats in the pantry than there is at my house. There are these tasty Grands breakfast biscuits in my freezer. So this morning… and maybe tonight after looking through food on Pinterest, I had one. AND, they had bacon in them. They were so amazingly good. And bacon filled.

So I ate bacon today, which is quite a celebration if you ask me, but I also thought I would share some bacony culture with you.

Kevin Bacon. Maybe one of the greatest uses of bacon, ever.

A bacon weave!!

Starry Bacon

The list of bacon products grows and grows. There are candles and bandaids and soap and Halloween costumes. Everyone like bacon. I hope that you enjoyed Bacon Day. I know I did.

Brace yourself. Tomorrow is the last day.

Sincerely,

Are you achin’ for some bacon…. Yep yep yep.

 

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A history lesson.

It’s the day I’m sure you’ve been pining for. It’s Pepper Pot Day. I know, I’m sorry you had to wait the entire year for this most memorable of days. Ok, so maybe no one was really jazzed for Pepper Pot Day. But you should be.

So back during the Revolutionary War, we weren’t feeling so hot. Winter blows. Especially when there was no such thing as North Face to ensconce your body in. Anyway, all of our soldiers were miserable and hungry and cold and probably sick. Food was pretty scarce. Animals have figured winter out better than we have and they hibernate. I’m considering it for next year, but it sounds like a lot of work.

Anyway, George Washington, I’m sure you’ve heard of him, told the cooks to make a soup that would warm up the soldiers. So the crafty cook took some tripe, AKA the stomach lining of an available bovinesque creature, peppercorn and other soupy things and crafted up pepper pot soup.

Apparently it was a gigantic success. Spirits were raised and we stuck it to the British. It sort of sounds like that magic juice Bugs Bunny hands out at the Space Jam basketball game, just water, but everyone kicks ass after drinking it.

So if it weren’t for tripe and peppercorns and the French we could have lost. So there’s that. A history lesson. If you are getting ready to ask if I ate pepper pot soup, I didn’t. I’m the one that told you what tripe was remember?

Also, Pepper Potts is Tony Stark’s (Iron Man) secretary. If you feel like celebrating that, feel free. To each his own.

Sincerely,

Founded on stomach lining.

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Phone a Friend

I didn’t have to call a friend today, one of mine called me! I got to chat with her all the way from her work to her home and then to take out her dog, whom I’ve haven’t met yet.

Anyway, it was a great chat. I had to remind her that she isn’t crazy, because she isn’t. I think sometimes we all lose sight of our sanity. I miss that person and if I had all the dollars in the world, or even just a few more dollars than I have right now, I would fly a plane to Dallas to see her face.

I got to go to lunch with another one of my people. It wasn’t exactly a phone call, but it was a three hour lunch, which is just as good as a phone call.

AND, tomorrow another one of my people gets to town. That person and I will have a chat and a glass of wine and lay in my bed. It’s been far too long.

And on Friday I’m going to Tulsa to see another person of mine. And then for New Years I’ll be in OKC and I’ll see EVEN MORE . It’s been just a fantastic break. I am so thrilled with the time I’ve been spending here.

And since today is Call a Friend Day, I went through my contacts and deleted quite a few. It was like a Facebook friend purge, but no one knows you deleted them. It’s thrilling.

And now I’m watching You’ve Got Mail for the millionth time. I still like it as much as I did the first time I saw it.

Sincerely,

Don’t you think daisies are the friendliest flower?

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Flakey

I made this!
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Sincerely,

The Sugar Plum Fairy

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Boxing

I have a feeling that I would be a terrible boxer. I saw a UFC commercial earlier and it made my body hurt. It’s Boxing Day and Boxing Day has nothing to do with actual boxing.

I’m not Canadian and I’m unfortunately not British so I’m not well versed on current Boxing Day practices. However, it used to be celebrated by the middle class. The wealthy would give their servants all their leftover Christmas things and they would celebrate Christmas the day after.

So I don’t have any servants. But I don’t have to work today. Does that count? Doubt it. Apparently now people donate to the needy on Boxing Day. But I’m not exactly with my things. If I was in Chicago I would have a large amount of things to take to Goodwill. But tomorrow Abby is taking quite a few things there. So we are celebrating a day late. Deal with it.

Sincerely,

Sock em bop em.

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